Last Saturday, Wildcard identified my doldrums as needing fixing, s we went out to watch Dr. Strange and then gorge on sushi, the latter activity almost  meaning a visit to the nearby sex shop, called “Romance“. Every relationship has its rituals. I have an undying love for salmon, particularly raw or smoked. Wildcard has a tradition of eating his feelings in delicious all you can eat buffet omnoms. Having a favourite fishing hole, and being fond of me, he shared the location and now we make monthly pilgrimages. Faces get stuffed, then we invariably go sex toy shopping. At first the shopping trips were an accidental extension of geography. The store just happens to be between us and where we always park. Honestly, showing [...]

November is prostate cancer and men’s health, diabetes and national novel writing month. It’s also the first quiet period I’ve had in a long time. Thus begins the month of Pearl Not Doing Things. A major vanilla project I’m working on has started to wind down. I’ve dealt with the whole (alleged) serial rapist in the community and pitched a friend from my social group for less severe but definitely horrible things. Those of you that follow me on social media know it was an intense experience that drained a lot of my energy. That and I’ve got one of those persistent low grade health thingees that I need to spend some Canadian Healthcare on. And I was a bridesmaid, which did not [...]

Ever wondered what those titles and identifier tags meant? This list is here to set you straight when you are getting kinky. Primal Predator: He really likes rough sex. Somehow this impresses some people and is seen as more ‘intense’.  babygirl: She’s somewhere between the ages of 35 and 45 and she has her shit together more than you ever will. Also she really likes colouring. Domme: Identifies as female, is dominant. Gets way more solicitations to sub to strange men than she would like. Which is any number greater than zero. Also get solicitations from ostensibly dom men offering themselves if she promises not to tell on them. Dominant: Is a dominant as noted, but if female constructions like “Domme” makes her teeth [...]

Herr Kommandandt has stepped down from his role in Urban Dungeon, and allegedly the BDSM scene. After the number of abuse allegations climbed to 11+ separate individuals with startlingly similar stories of rape, injuries they never consented to, theft and abuse, and a post of mine that made Kinky & Popular on fetlife, there’s some sort of response to all this other than denial. Well, that’s pretty vindicating. The allegations are getting fully talked about. Other people are talking to MasterSin about the involvement of Montreal Fetish Weekend. I’m getting talked about, in that oblique and careful way that fet does, as a “kinky blogger”. There’s a statement on his profile and in an event thread in the fet group- and one here [...]

After that necessary barrage of negativity about abuse allegations, and the unhinged messages from special salad man, I want to digress into talking about something pretty neat happening in my city… A Lingerie for Men Fashion Show! I often talk about the strictures on men, particularly male subs, not to be objects of sexual desire. As a woman, there are lingerie looks I can try from frothy in ruffles to fierce in leather. As a male, the lingerie for men options usually demand simply cross dress or offer aggressive sports wear or strict bondage looks. The dichotomy is strict- modern masculinity eschews softness. For a gender that is automatically associated with dominance for many people, the list of rules governing what men can’t [...]

One of the more long running, cross-scene kink events is the Montreal Fetish Weekend, a multi-day little sister of things like the Folsom Street Fair. Taking advantage of the city’s traditionally liberal attitudes, it’s a giant party and celebration of BDSM and fetish. Unfortunately not only is Herr_Kommadant a regular volunteer, but his venue, Urban Dungeon, is closely affiliated. This year (2016) it was one of the venue spaces used with a great deal of cross promotion. For Herr_Kommandant’s alleged victims, this creates a great deal of stress because it creates the impression that his (alleged) behaviour is condoned by the larger community. As I already mentioned in my last post on the subject, different event organizers in Montreal have taken different positions [...]

SVACOM asked me to review a part of their catalog, the pink silicone skin vibrator titled “Cathy”. There’s only one problem, I generally find 99% of vibes, through no fault of their own, leave my lady parts cold. And numb. But still, here I am with a $ vibrator and wondering how to give it a fair shake. Enter my friend Mrs. Castle. My neighbour and frequent tea companion, this woman is one of the lovely extra bright points in a life that’s already filled with some pretty sparkly people. She is able to give it a thorough testing, so when Svacom sent me the toy to test I was able to do a quick hand off and, within short order she had [...]

It’s cuddling weather! <Squeeeeee> Summer heat saps my energy, zapping my will to move and probably putting me at my most emotionally meh. Yeah, I have air conditioning, but then there’s a noisy fan and that weird dry-cold draft. For me, the encroachment of fall always comes with a little burst of enthusiasm for life, something about the colour of the light, and the cool air. I’m about as far from Agrarian/Pastoral as you can get without living on the ISS, but the moment I can put on thick knit black tights is the moment I start skipping and hopping about.  And it’s the time when Wildcard stops scuttling to his side of the bed with a “don’t touch me you’re too WARM!!! [...]