How To Give A Bare Handed Spanking

One of the biggest barriers for new femdoms (and women who are giving this a try) is that the topping side of dominating people can seem hellaciously intimidating. What if you get it wrong, will the bottom be seriously hurt? Will he laugh at you and take away his submission? I blame existing dominants, who often base their authority on how well they hit and tie. In some cases, of course, kink skill takes time and practice. Bullwhips and needle play require more prep and know how, as well as specialized equipment. But spanking is something anyone can do and carry very little risk, particularly a bare handed spanking with an open palm. Why spanking and how does it work? A human butt [...]

Montreal’s Missing Stair: Dunter

The Montreal BDSM community is live in a world where everyone talks, but there are strict norms: don’t “make drama” and don’t out people. It’s held up by our heavy reliance on Fetlife as a social tool, which refuses to allow you to say anything negative about anyone, whether calling them out for alleged littering or a rape conviction. But this is my blog, so I can express that I think Dunter is a bad person who should be banned from the BDSM scene. Dunter assaulted me and violated my consent, and I have witnessed him violate the consent of someone else   Me: – While demonstrating pressure points, went from demonstrating on my fingers to violently twisting my nipple. I guess he [...]

Matching game

Femdom Life: Orgasm Denial for Him

I like to make him beg. Wildcard is into con-non-con, but as much as he has fabulous instincts as a top/dom (he’s really fucking AMAZING to watch), he’s comparatively handicapped in submissive explorations. He’s not someone who could attribute his sub fantasies to being a naturally passive, meek person. As a sub, his erotic charge comes from resisting, and, as a full sized adult male, this makes orgasm denial the perfect lever to bring him to his knees. As a straight femdom, your partners will usually be bigger, stronger and heavier than you. A good tease and iron clad willpower is your friend for subs who need a little push back. I adore humiliating him with my power. With so much cultural baggage [...]

Quickie

Sometimes don't have time to get changed

The Unbound Box Rocked My Socks

Every blogger likes loot. In disclosure before I talk about the Unbound Box, the origin of this was a freebie with no expectations other than reviewing it, but I can confidently say I loved what I got. I liked the presentation, I liked the contents and I found the company itself super pleasant to work with. Unbound is a sex toy/adult product retailer going for a combination classy/tongue in cheek aesthetic. They’re as likely to remind you you deserve equal pay as all the orgasms you want. Unlike many loot crates, you have some advance warning what you’re going to get, but in my case I went into this completely blind. I also did not expect to be happy with the results, just [...]

Consistent Cruelty

Well a holiday comes to an end. Blissful – for me. So many orgasms! Almost every day bitch-boy received a prolonged deterrent punishment to get the day going, and ‘get me going’, not that I needed it. Pissed on each afternoon, left in sensory deprivation for a couple of hours upstairs all alone, colouring in with his dolly – outdoors for two or three hours, doing the laundry and ironing, teasingly – in secure sensory bondage on the sofa – having his boy’s bits played with for over an hour every day while I watched a number of DVD’s throughout my break. No breakfast, no lunch for bitch-boy. All the driving. All the tidying up in the kitchen. The list goes on. bitch-boy will be glad [...]

Fuck Homophobia; Fuck Islamophobia

This is more like a one shot service announcement, but as a sexual libertine I wanted to put this out there, based on the Orlando tragedy: Fuck homophobia. Fuck blaming Muslims. As a non-American I don’t feel qualified to give more than an opinion on the subject of gun control (why do you need those? wat? whyyyy?) but as a sexual libertine who screws and plays with people anywhere on the wonderfully unrestrainable gender spectrum, and whose life is so far on the side of sexual liberal that I don’t even know what normal looks like anymore… We don’t deserve to die, and what kills us is not our choices, it is the choice of others to hate us. And that hate is [...]

Kink.com Excludes Femdom From Mainstream BDSM

This shit is what I’m talking about here, when I talk about the sexism that femdoms deal with, when it comes to being taken seriously as a part of BDSM. This is the navigation menu for kink.com, which helps you find their sub-sites, sorted by 5 options. Gay gets its own category that excludes F/f, which is sort of scattered all throughout their content offerings. And Femdom… It’s not filed under general BDSM either. Because of course it isn’t. I understand this is going to come across like I’m looking for something to be offended about that could be a happinstance accident. There’s obviously no malicious conspiracy and I suspect a huge part is an effort to seed common search terms for SEO/page rank [...]

Better punishment position

I  have always preferred two punishment positions when using impact implements to punish a slave because a slave has committed an infraction, or I wish to deter infractions with a deterrent punishment, or I want to punish just because I can. The first punishment position is where the slave has wrists secured behind back and must kneel on the floor resting on knees, shins and forehead. Ideal for the paddle or cane or quirt in particular. It is good to take a  break and stand by their head pressing the side of shoe or boot lightly against their cheek to highlight the difference in status between Mistress and slave. The other favourite punishment  was – slave’s wrists secured behind their back and bent face down [...]