I have embarked on writing a manual. It is going well. At the moment the manual title is: Gratifying Domination and Submissive Contentment: A manual. The manual will be for dominants and for submissives. It will be for female or male dominants regardless of the gender of their submissive(s). I have already, during the requests to me that I write such a manual, received comments on the topics of advice and guidance that should be covered and I have also helped a number of Dommes in the past who have set out their problems. However my blog gives me an opportunity to seek further comments. So, if there is a particular sticking point or problem that you would like me to cover, (large or small), [...]

Something I really enjoy is spitting out half chewed food and then squashing it into the surface of the floor with the sole of my shoe or boot before my human toy has to consume the food. The human toy must lick the sole of the shoe or boot clean at the end of the meal. Licking a sole clean is such a perfect indication of the chasm in status between the human toy and the Mistress. And the footwear can be a high-heeled, very sexy boot or shoe; or can be a much less erotic item of footwear. The effect and messages are the same, or perhaps even more rammed home, if the footwear is a track shoe, plain shoe, or flat heeled boot or [...]

Well there have been so many comments on my last post. As with most things, people are different and so there has been different feedback. I would just like to introduce some clarity of word use so we all use the same words for the same things. A male orgasm is an ejaculation WITH a mental feeling of euphoria. Penis muscle spasming without euphoria is ejaculation not orgasm. Release of semen without euphoria but with a sense of mental and emotional release is still not an orgasm. So the consensus (majority experience) is that ejaculation by prostate stimulation; or by vibration or electrical stimulation while locked in a chastity device, produces ejaculation without orgasm, even if it can provide a sense of mental and emotional release [...]

A comment has caused me to seek advice from you dear followers. I think for a male there is an ejaculation without an orgasm as well as an ejaculation with one. An orgasm includes a huge feeling of euphoria. I can give bitch-boy a spoiled ejaculation by stopping all physical contact with his penis the very first moment ejaculation begins. Another way is when he is caused to ejaculate without euphoria by prostate stimulation. In these two cases, there is an ejaculation of semen but no euphoria. HE HATES THIS! An orgasm (feeling or euphoria) appears to require appropriate continued stimulation of the penis once the ejaculation has begun, until it ceases. I have never given him an ejaculation, when he is locked [...]

Given the comments I have received, I have decided to write a manual. I received one suggestion which was on a topic I continue to struggle with. Should there be two manuals – one for beginners and one for the experienced. Otherwise, if a single manual is for both beginners and those with experience, will ‘extreme’ sections of it scare the beginners away from domination, and sections for beginners bore the experienced? Well although two manuals sounds like a great idea in theory, I have tried it and I have found it does not work in practice. For two reasons: Firstly, activities from the mild to the ‘extreme’ run on a spectrum At what point on this spectrum can one draw a line and say everything [...]

There are so many fetishes and I find all of them either interesting or amazing. While I would not go as far as to say bitch-boy has a wool fetish; in fact I say he has not. He is however affected by a very good female  body wearing a tight angora/mohair type sweater. Especially a cropped one which reveals a taught firm stomach. For those that have a strong wool fetish, I have come across a Tumblr site dedicated to the fetish. For those who are interested, enjoy! I would love to own a few sweaters just like the ones in the images above – long sleeved, and roll necked – perhaps a bit tighter and much fluffier, but I cannot source such an [...]

Well I do not think I have ever had as many comments on a post as on my post about the precise meaning of the terms, Slave and Sub! And it was no surprise that views were varied and also totally conflicting. There were some very wise and well thought through comments for which I am grateful. Many commenters agreed the issue was confusing. Now given after honesty, good communication is the most important thing in a relationship, and given in a BDSM relationship, communication is even more important than in a vanilla one – what a problem we have if we do not even agree on what the words mean that we bandy about. (And as a writer who loves precise word [...]

I talk often about the power-pleasure of CFNM. Clothed Female Naked Male. Particularly, the Domme dressed in clothes she would wear to an office or wedding or even relatively sexy clothes to relax in, such as tight T-shirt, leggings and Ugg boot slippers. AND the male is naked. Add one or more additional females to the situation and the vulnerability and shaming of the male ratchets up 1000%. Replace his nakedness with partial nakedness using little girl, or sissy maid clothing with a dress coming down only to his hips, frill topped ankle socks and his shaved, naked genitalia remaining on full display – and the shaming of the male ratchets up another 1000%. I normally write that part of this scenario is that the Domme does not [...]

I am confused. I use the terms ‘my slave’ and ‘my sub’ interchangeably. To me they mean the same thing. However I think I have noticed that in the wonderful BDSM community, some people apply different definitions to ‘a sub’ and ‘a slave’. Can anyone enlighten me as to the difference? I would be grateful. Source: Ms Scarlet