"Alone Time" For Couples

I believe that it is very important and beneficial for couples to spend quality alone time together. By this I mean time doing activities and talking with each other without kids, family, or friends present. The concept sounds simple, but many couples fail to do this. I am sure you know some people who never even transition into the married life after the say “I Do.” These are the ones that continue to maintain active social lives and hobbies separate from their spouse and put a higher value on those activities then spending time with their spouse. Those relationships are destined for failure unless something changes.

Even those who start with great intentions and a love for doing things together can fall into the traps of being consumed by their job, consumed with raising kids, or consumed with a passionate hobby. Those are all very important aspects of life, but if you focus too much on one aspect or you neglect an important aspect of your life, then your life becomes out of balance. Sadly, often times a long-term consequence of this imbalance, is that a couple that was once in love, finds themselves drifting apart from each other and potentially on the verge of divorce years later.

Life gets busy. That is inevitable. That is why it is important to plan time together so that you can stay connected and experience life together or re-connect as a couple and fall in love with each other all over again. A great benefit of the Wife Led Marriage (WLM) lifestyle, is that it creates many opportunities for alone time. My husband and I have many intimate times together on a weekly basis such as when he massages me or gives me a bath, when I do weekly reviews of his performance, or when he pleasures me. These are special times that we connect on a very intimate level and bond with each other. Prior to our WLM, we spent much less time on these types of activities. I’ve really enjoyed how the WLM has created these special moments for us and I feel strongly that it has brought us closer together and strengthened our marriage.

In addition to those moments, we also plan several getaways with each other each year. This is something that we did both pre and post WLM. When the kids were younger we would get a baby sitter for the weekend. These are typically overnight trips or long weekend trips. The types of getaways have ranged from a night at a nearby bed and breakfast to a weekend cruise. Most times we stayed within a few hours drive from home and explored the local town or went to a festival. No friends and no family- just us two. We also made it a point to be inward focused with each other during the getaway. In other words, we were not interested in socializing with others. We still engaged with people we encountered, but we kept it to a minimum. Yes, this was anti-social, but the point of the getaway was to connect with each other.

On these trips, I pack our “toys” and some fetish gear and this always excites Thomas. Sometimes we use them and sometimes we don’t. It all depended on my mood. I will confess that most times my inhibitions disappear and my inner dominatrix comes out on these trips. When I am away from home, it is easy to destress, forget about real life, and step into a fantasy world. On these getaways I am often pushing my sexual limits more than I am pushing his. It was on one of these trips that I first demanded that Thomas worship my ass with his tongue. That was so out of character for me at the time, but now it is something I do regularly. Thinking back over the years, I’ve realized that my comfort level and confidence in being dominant increased tremendously after these trips and so they have played an important part in shaping our WLM.

Although the getaways for us are sexually charged and concentrated on my authority and control over him, they are also an enjoyable time of hanging out together doing fun ‘normal’ activities. I find that on these trips we reconnect with each other on a deep intimate way, and we remember all the wonderful things about each other that made us fall in love so many years ago.

Whether you are in a traditional marriage or a WLM, I encourage you to do activities together and plan regular alone time together, including overnight getaways. It is so important to carve out time for each other no matter how busy life becomes.

-Mz Kaylee

“Alone Time” For Couples