An open letter about chastity

by Mistress Ayn’s slaveboy

Five years ago, in 2018, i reached out to Mistress Ayn, whom i had served only a few times in session as a submissive, after many decades of submitting to other professional Mistresses, and asked if She would consider being my Keyholder and placing me in chastity.  In retrospect, i honestly really did not fully understand what i was asking of Her or the multiple dimensions or aspects of chastity, but thankfully She was knowledgeable, experienced, and willing.

For Her services, which have far exceeded my expectations and fantasies, She explained that there would be a monthly fee (a financial aspect of chastity), not exorbitant but fair given Her time commitment.  This was the first reality check of being a chaste slaveboy to Mistress Ayn – i needed to commit to Her demand of a reasonable financial commitment.

Then, She explained that there was no set “end time” or regular schedule for chastity with Her and Her subs (beginning the psychological aspect of chastity).  For Mistress Ayn, chastity was “indefinite.”  No, i had no real idea of what this meant. But quickly learned that there was no “you are in chastity for so many days or weeks, and then get a release to orgasm.” But i agreed to that psychologically controlling condition as well.

Yes, there is a physical/sexual element of chastity, too.  i no longer can seek private times and freely stroke my cock and experience the exceptionally powerful and satisfying orgasms – as i vaguely recall them to be.  No, Mistress Ayn is now in control of my cock. Now, it is Her cock, and She decides when, where, and, importantly, how i might experience any sort of pleasure associated with Her cock. These opportunities have become fewer and less satisfying as determined by Mistress Ayn, yet my enjoyment of serving Mistress Ayn in this way has increased significantly.

i began to understand that Mistress Ayn was indeed, as She said, the Queen of Long-term Relationships. Thankfully, this is a wonderful thing, since She is completely unpredictable, amazingly creative, and very caring, and i never want O/our relationship and all its different aspects to end.  So, five years later, there seems to be no end in sight as determined by the calendar and i am delighted.

In addition, chastity has affected other relationships in my life (the social aspect of chastity).  i am less focused on myself and more on others – mostly on other Women whom i meet, but not having a sexual or intimate relationship with Them.  Chastity enables me to focus on other ways to please Women than sexually – by listening better to Them, by being more sensitive to Their needs and wants, by being present to Them as They share Their lives with me, and so on.

Chastity has made me a better submissive but also a better male and person.  It has taken away the distraction of selfish pleasure and i have become a person who is better at relationships, at just being a better human to other humans.

Five years is not a mark on a calendar indicating an end to an era or task, but simply a footnote of how long i have been loyal to Mistress Ayn, as my Keyholder, and am learning how to be a better person.  Thus, there is no obsession with “achieving an end date” but rather an intense desire to continue to become even better as a person to Mistress Ayn, to other Mistresses She allows me to serve, and to others outside my submissive life as well.

Mistress Ayn’s chastity heyholding programs