Better Spouses | About Sex

TOWARD A FANTASTIC MARRIAGE: How and why Domestic Discipline works.

An essay by Vivian (part 8).

About sex

The great thing about sex in a marriage that includes Domestic Discipline is that it gets better in whatever way you want it to. Think about your sexual fantasies, the things you’ve never told your husband about for fear of what he’d think of you or for fear that he’d either reject you or the idea. Now you have the freedom to let your husband know what you want in sex without fear. You have that freedom because of his vulnerability. Think about it. He has just allowed himself to be bare-bottomed spanked by you, you have humiliated him, restriced his access to his own genitals, and he is kneeling naked before you begging for an orgasm. Do you think anything you tell him about your sexual desires is going to sound “too weird” for him? I don’t think so!

When it comes to sex you can have whatever you want no matter what your preferred styles of sex are. Let me give you a few examples.

I am a natural for Domestic Discipline because I enjoy having and using sexual power. I get a thrill from sexually dominating my husband. I enjoy forcing his face into my crotch for oral sex. I enjoy being on top during intercourse, talking to him, warning him about what will happen if he cums before I’ve said he may. When we roll over, I enjoy the way he winces and whines when I use my riding crop to reinforce my directions that he speed up or slow down. My husband, of course, enjoys these things too. I also enjoy punishing him when he has not performed to my standards. We are a perfect fit in this regard.

My friend Susan

When it comes to sexual enjouyment and engrained fantasies, Susan is the opposite. She wants to be dominated in bed. She wants her man to be strong and forceful in sex. She likes to resist a little and be gently but convincingly overpowered. She enjoys being playfully spanked herself during foreplay. One may think it difficult for her to be dominant in Domestic Discipline and submissive in sex. In fact, it works out very well for her.

After a disciplinary session, Susan tells her husband what she wants from him in sex and that certain privileges, rewards and punishements will be tied to his performance. Susan had been married 15 years before discovering Domestic Discipline. In all those years she had never been able to tell her husband what she wanted in sex for fear of embarrassment or rejection. Once she had made him totally vulnerable to her in Domestic Discipline, she was able to tell him without such fears. He was delighted to find out how to please her better. She tells me her sex life is 100 times better than it ever has been. She gets her playful spankings during foreplay and he gets his serious spankings during disciplinary sessions. It works out wonderfully. She has even come come to enjoy the power she feels when disciplining him and laying down the law and looks forward to disciplinary sessions.

My friend Carol

Carol is more conventional in bed. She wants her man to woo her with romance, flowers, candlelight dinners, and long, luxurious foreplay. She wants her man’s undivided attention during sex, wants him gazing into her eyes and telling her how beautiful she is and how much he loves and cherishes her. That is how sex was for her during her first year of marriage. Over the following eleven years it changed. It became mechanical, boring and void of passion.

Like Susan, once Carol initiated Domestic Discipine with her husband she was able to tell him what she wanted and he had the energy and motivation to give it to her. Her sex life also dramatically improved and continues getting better.

Another factor that improves sex is control over ejaculation. The most common male sexual dysfunction is premature ejaculation. The ejaculatory control acheived through Domestic Discpline lengthens his staying power which makes him more confident in sex and increases your satisfaction tremendously. If his problem is that he takes too long to ejaculate that is easily handled also. Once you are in the habit of denying him orgasms it is easy to stop intercourse when it ceases to be pleasurable to you.

So you see, it doesn’t matter how you like it, it will get better. You may be like Susan or Carol or me, or you may have a little of all of us in you. Domestic Discipline is not about spending hours dripping hot wax on your husband or hanging him from the ceiling in chains. That’s S&M. If you enjoy that you can do it, but you need not. Domestic Discipline crashes through his male ego and establishes his vulnerability. Once that has been done, the barriers to intimacy are gone and the possibilities are endless.