Below is a post from Karl, another new guest contributor. Karl raises some interesting questions and thoughts on FLR. I’d love to hear from all of you on what you think about his observations and how would you respond to some of his questions. -Kaylee
Commonalities Among Submissive Men
Within a relationship that eventually turns to FLR, I believe there is a common thread in the men. For me, the sexual part is somehow tied with my well-being and is at the root of my unending desire to serve my wife who I view as my Queen and Earthly Goddess. However, it only works if she behaves like a Goddess. I have wrestled with this my entire life, because my spouse, like most women, had no idea this is “a thing”, i.e. that is submissive men that would prefer a FLR.
How many men are “wired” this way (sexually submissive and/or just submissive to their wives) and to what degree is the wiring nature versus nurture. Are (most or many) men who are naturally submissive born this way, is it a by-product of environment, parenting, personality traits, etc.? There seems to be very little professional studies on the FLR relationships, dominant wives or sub husbands. This might lead one to the conclusion that it is uncommon. However, there are a few clues that it may be more natural and pervasive than meets the eye:
Mz. Kaylee’s approach is perfectly in tune with me, and it would appear from the comments throughout the posts that other men feel the same. Since the “tools of the trade” Mz. K addresses throughout her blog work pretty much universally on most sub males, it seems likely to me that this wiring is at least somewhat common. It is almost eerie how similar sub males are and what they truly want from their Goddess wives.
From what I have observed on this blog and other similar here are some commonalities of sub men who would thrive in an FLR. Speaking for myself these are all applicable:
· Probably professionally successful, self motivated and neutral if not dominant or alpha outside of the home.
· Crave discipline (spanking) but are not necessarily masochists.
· Crave direction, rules and structure from their wife or significant other.
· Want to be feminized and/or “forced” to wear panties, etc. but are not cross-dressers or transgender.
· Would like to be penetrated by their wives but are not gay
· Pleasing the wife sexually is more important then their own release.
· Pleasing their wife by completing chores she requires is a top priority
· Orally pleasing the wife is a spiritual experience.
· Loves to kiss her ass passionately and with reverence.
· The more she requires the better especially if it comes with some teasing along the way.
It may appear that there are not a lot of women and men who would enjoy the benefits of an FLR, but since our culture is deeply patriarchal, men are forced to act a certain way or face extreme ridicule. Women are also trained from a young age that they should be submissive to men. There is a lot to overcome to get a lifestyle reversal of roles.
Men joke all of the time about the wife being in charge. That is ok, as long as you mask it in a joke and all the other guys laugh. That seems almost universal among men, i.e. joke around about it, but then act like a macho man and try to let everyone know you are the boss, so you are not viewed as pussy whipped.
I wonder if a culture was such that men were taught from a young age that they will grow up, ask for a lady’s hand in marriage, and then commit to a FLR, would that feel natural to most people?
I also wonder if a young woman understood and was taught essentially what Mz. K is teaching on her blog, how successful she would be at getting a man to commit to a lifetime of obedience and servitude? I am guessing she would have no trouble attracting a dedicated sub husband to serve her for life. Taken the next step further, what if most women just expected a vow of obedience and a FLR based marriage, what would happen?
I have also wrestled with the sexual nature of an FLR. I feel bad that without the sexual component I would not choose to just obey my Goddess. I have answered this question in two ways. Why would anyone give up freedom and commit to serving another person if there was nothing in it for them? Since men are designed to desire sex constantly, if possible, why not take this incredible driving force and channel it into serving women and bringing peace to men?
The truth is most men masturbate and watch porn to do something with the sexual energy. If you think about, that is a tremendous waste. Even if a man is not a sub he should still practice retention because it builds our energy and our life force.
It just turns out that male sexuality is a constant and so understanding it and channeling it is just common sense. If it turns out the man is sexually submissive than finding a dominant woman who understands all of this is truly special.
The ultimate reward for a submissive male, who is in an FLR, is something called subspace. Subspace is an amazing feeling of bliss, peace and tranquility that appears to me can only be achieved by a sub who truly gives himself to his Goddess. Given how amazing it is, how is it not common knowledge or even addressed in main stream?
My guess is about 10% of men would eagerly submit to a woman in the context of a FLR if she knew what she was doing. My suspicion is the only reason that number is not closer to 80% is our culture, and a lack of understanding of sexuality – particularly retention (orgasm control).
I would venture something like 2% of women would easily take to an FLR if offered the chance. However, if they truly understood all of the benefits for both parties and the culture were different that number would also be about 80%.
The bottom line is I think an FLR is more in tune with nature, but culturally were in too deep to let it blossom.
What do you think?
KL
Commonalities Among Submissive Men (by Karl)
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