Queening, often referred to as facesitting, is a beloved form of domination in the BDSM community that combines power dynamics with sensual pleasure. At its core, queening is a display of control, intimacy, and trust where the dominant partner literally takes their throne by sitting on the submissive’s face. Whether you’re new to this practice or a seasoned participant, there are ways to ensure that the experience is enjoyable, comfortable, and safe for both parties.

What Is Queening?

Queening, or facesitting, involves the dominant partner sitting on or hovering above the submissive’s face, typically for the purpose of receiving oral pleasure or simply to assert dominance. This activity can range from playful and intimate to intensely erotic, depending on the dynamic between the partners. For many, the appeal lies in the surrender of control by the submissive and the heightened sense of power and pleasure experienced by the dominant.

Why Try Queening?

1. Empowerment for the Dominant Partner: Queening places the dominant in a physically and emotionally elevated position, reinforcing their authority in the dynamic.
2. Trust and Intimacy: Allowing oneself to be vulnerable—whether as the sitter or the one being sat on—builds trust.
3. Heightened Sensory Experiences: For the submissive, facesitting limits other senses, amplifying the tactile sensations and emotional intensity.

Preparing for a Safe Queening Experience

Safety is paramount in any BDSM practice, and queening is no exception. Here are some essential steps to prepare for this sensual activity:

1. Open Communication: Before diving in, discuss boundaries, expectations, and comfort levels. The dominant should be aware of the submissive’s limits regarding pressure and duration.
2. Establish a Safeword and Safety Signal: While the submissive’s voice may be muffled, they can use a non-verbal signal, such as tapping twice on the dominant’s thigh, to indicate discomfort.
3. Hygiene First: Both partners should prioritize cleanliness. Showering beforehand can help both parties feel relaxed and confident. For added comfort, the submissive might consider using a soft pillow under their head for support.
4. Choose a Comfortable Surface: A firm mattress or padded surface can provide stability and prevent strain on the submissive’s neck.

Mastering the Art of Queening

Once the preparations are complete, the fun begins! Here are tips for maximizing enjoyment:

1. Start Slowly: Begin by lightly hovering above the submissive’s face to gauge their comfort and readiness. Gradually increase pressure as both parties adjust.
2. Experiment with Positions:
   • The dominant can kneel over the submissive’s face, keeping their thighs open to allow air flow.
   • Sitting fully on the submissive can provide a more intense experience but should be done with care to avoid obstructing breathing entirely.
3. Stay Attuned to Your Partner: Dominants should remain mindful of the submissive’s reactions. Even subtle shifts in body language can indicate discomfort or the need for a break.
4. Add Sensual Elements: Incorporating blindfolds, restraints, or verbal affirmations can enhance the submissive’s experience, amplifying their sense of surrender.

Common Concerns and How to Address Them

1. Breathing Safety: This is the most significant concern with facesitting. Ensure that the submissive has moments to breathe and that airflow is not completely obstructed for extended periods.
2. Neck Support: If the submissive’s neck is unsupported, strain can occur. Using a pillow or positioning their head correctly can alleviate this.
3. Overwhelming the Submissive: It’s essential for the dominant to listen to cues and provide reassurance, creating a safe space for both exploration and retreat.

Aftercare: A Crucial Step

After any BDSM session, including queening, aftercare helps both partners transition back to their regular dynamic. Here’s what to include:

• Physical Care: Provide water and check for any soreness or discomfort.
• Emotional Connection: Talk about the experience, share positive feedback, and affirm your partner’s participation.
• Cuddle and Reconnect: Sharing intimacy post-session can deepen the bond and provide closure.

Final Thoughts

Queening is more than just a sensual act—it’s a celebration of trust, power, and intimacy. By prioritizing safety, open communication, and attentiveness, you can transform facesitting into a deeply rewarding experience for both partners. Whether it’s about asserting dominance or indulging in mutual pleasure, queening is a beautiful example of how BDSM can bring couples closer, one throne at a time.

Would you like more tips or resources on this topic? Let me know!