A topic that came up in the comments from the previous posts on orgasm denial was post-orgasm drop or what some people refer to as sub-drop. In the context of a WLM, this is the tired feeling that the husband gets immediately after an orgasm. He becomes extermely tired and disinterested in the wife and may even struggle with obedience and remainng submissive. It’s no secret to women that most men are pretty much useless immediately after an orgasm. It is not pleasant for the women and many submissive guys also don’t like that they struggle with their submission and obedience during this time. For some men it passes in just a few hours. For other men, it could have effects for several days.

The good news is that it is temporary. We need to recognize and accept that it is a natural side effect of orgasm. When a man orgasms, a rush of hormones are released that causes this effect. Sorry guys, I guess you just can’t handle your orgasms:). Since it is a natural reaction, you get a free pass on this one. When my husband has an orgasm, I leave him be for a few days afterward to allow him to recover. This does not mean he can slack on his duties and chores. It is also not acceptable for him to give me attitude. He will be punished if he does.What it does mean is that I am not spouting off orders to him or being demanding and strict in those few days. I give him a few days to recover and refocus. Honestly, it is a nice break for me too!  Everyone is happier in the end.

It can become a problem if the husband takes too long to bounce back, has trouble gaining back the submissive feeling, or acts with a bad attitude toward the wife during the recovery period. Fortunately there are strategies that women can employ to minimize the effect of post-orgasm drop or to shorten the recovery time.

A popular strategy is to allow a ruined orgasm instead of a full blown orgasm. The wife does this by removing all pressure and friction from his cock as soon as the orgasm starts. For example, she strokes his cock and as soon as the orgasm starts she release his cock and watches as it twitches and spurts on it’s own. If she gets really good at it, she releases his cock before the orgasm starts but at a point where he has gone over the edge and can not stop the orgasm from happening. The result is a ruined orgasm because without pressure he ejacutales but does not experience the pleasure of an orgasm and his orgasm is cut short. This is frustrating for the guy, especially since mentally his body is expecting to feel the pleasure from the orgasm. It sounds cruel (and can be) but there are benefits. A ruined orgasm relieves some of the mental and physical pressure from all that pent-up teasing and denial, which allows him to continue longer without a full orgasm. Also, with a ruined orgasm, there is not the full release of hormones and so it minimizes or eliminates the post orgasm drop. Many guys can actually remain horny after a ruined orgasm and therefore keep their submissive feeling. In fact, they may feel even more submissive from the power exchange of being prevented from having a full orgasm. There are many fun ways to initiate a ruined orgasm. See my post “The Art of The Ruined Orgasm” to learn more. https://femdomthinktank.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-art-of-ruined-orgasm.html

Another startegy that can be used is “Milking” the cum out of the male. This is very similar to the ruined orgasm. Typically the guy is on all fours and just like milking a cow, the wife pulls and squeezes the husband’s cock and when he is about to cum, she releases it and lets the cum dribble out. When milking it is effective to push your fingers or a probe into his ass and massage his prostate. This helps push the cum out. The guy should be trained to relax his cock and not try for an orgasm but rather just let the cum dribble out. Some women milk their man on a regular basis to keep him in a steady state of arousal and submission without allowing a full orgasm. Milking has the same benefits of the ruined orgasm. It can also be an erotic rush for the guy to be treated like an animal and be denied the pleasure of an orgasm. Likewise women can get a power rush from milking a guy. I’ve never tried milking and would love to hear from those who have experience with the milking technique.

The above two techinques minimize or eliminate post-orgasm drop but they do not allow for a normal orgasm. If you want your guy to experience a full orgasm, there are some things your husband and you can do to help him rebound qucikly from the drop. Let’s start with the husband. Guys, you have to take some responsiblity in getting over the drop as soon as possible. Some simple things that you can do are to get a good rest afterward and eat healthy. This will replenish the energy that you lost. The harder part is getting your mindset back into submissive mode. It is not uncommon for guys to lose interest in submision or even feel ashamed at some of the things they’ve done as part of their submission. They’ve been riding an erotic high for awhile and an orgasm suddenly deflates all the eroticism and clears their mind. This sudden change can cause regret. However, we all know that submissive guys are happiest under the control of a dominant woman and so the best thing to do is get them back into the submissive mindset as soon as possible.

This is where the woman can help but before I go there, let’s talk about a few more things the guy shuold do. Fist he needs to be mentally strong and not slack off on his responsibities and chores just because he is not feeling submissive. Some things in life are hard. You’ve got to take the good with the bad so tough it out for a few days guys!! Suck it up and do your chores without complaining. Another strategy guys can try is a ritual to refresh and refocus the mind. Deep breathing to clear the mind, repeating a mantra, or kneeling are things that can help guys reset and rebound quickly from the drop. Rituals and meditation are great for restting and refocusing the mind. I encourage all guys to try these even if it is not required by your wife.

Immediately after the orgasm, I recommend the wife allow the husband time to relax on his own and recover. This is where orgasm control is important. Through OC the wife can ensure the husband orgasms during or after her orgasm so that she does not end up being disappointed at his lack of performance if he orgasms before her. She only allows him to orgasm when she is ready to be done with him. This way she can leave him alone to recover. Ever since we started our WLM, Thomas has never had an orgasm before me. It’s been wonderful! I also recommend that she use the next few days after the orgasm for rebuilding his submissive desires. Men are easily seduced into submission when they are aroused so she can rebuild his submission by teasing and edging him and by gently playing into his fetishes. It may take longer to get his arousal going but you’ll get him there eventually and once he feels those wonderful pleasures, bye-bye regret and shame. In the previous sentence I purposely used the word “gently” because often times a guy’s fetish can become unappealing immediately after an orgasm. However if you give him some recovery time and then start to do a few “teasers” with his fetish, he will quickly be under your spell again.

Admittedly, what I described above is a gentle way to handle the post-orgasm drop. Some women may prefer to be more harsh and demanding and will force their guy to tough it out and fight through the feelings of uninterest and tiredness. Women who have sadistic tendicies and will enjoy seeing their husbadn experience the suffering of fighting through the drop. That is certainly a strategy that can be used. It’s just not one that I prefer.  If you are someone that takes a more demanding approach, I would love to hear about your experiences with it. Please feel free to comment on the post with your thoughts.

I’ll end this post with one final thuoght about OC. Keep in mind that orgasm denial is only half the equation of OC. The other half is orgasm permission.  In the last post Lora commented, “It’s not about how long he should be denied but rather the results.” That is a succinct way to describe the goal of orgasm control. OC is a way for the wife to keep the husband in an obedient and submissive state of mind. How it is applied varies depending on the couple. For my husband and I, long-term denial and unpredictable orgasm approval works great. I have heard from other couples where they establish a pre-determined date for orgasm release and other couples have a regular orgasm schedule and that works great for them. You should do what works best for you and also be open to the idea that it could change over time as you become more experienced with denial and as your desires change. If you are new to OC then experiment with different approaches and have fun.

-Mz Kaylee

Final Thought on Orgasm Denial, Post-Orgasm Drop, and Ruined Orgasms