10 Tips for New Female Dominants: Getting Comfortable with Control10 Tips for New Female Dominants: Getting Comfortable with Control

The dynamics of dominance and submission offer an exciting avenue for exploring trust, control, and pleasure in intimate relationships. For women who enjoy being in charge, one of the more intimate and pleasurable ways to assert authority is through the act of anal play, including getting your submissive male to perform oral sex on your anus. Whether you’re new to this or have experience with power play, here’s a comprehensive guide to help you navigate this process in a safe, consensual, and fulfilling way.

Understanding the Power Dynamics

Before diving into any specific techniques or steps, it’s important to acknowledge the psychological component that makes this form of submission so powerful. For many submissive males, surrendering to their dominant partner’s desires—especially when it involves taboo acts—can be deeply arousing and fulfilling. Licking your anus is a vulnerable act, and for him to willingly submit, there needs to be a foundation of trust and respect.

By asserting your dominance, you are guiding him into a space where he feels not only safe but also excited by the prospect of serving you in this deeply intimate way. Your authority must be established clearly, yet gently, allowing him to fully embrace the submissive role. Here’s how you can begin:

1. Establish Your Dominance

Before introducing the idea of anal licking, it’s essential to establish a clear dominance in the relationship. This can be done through both verbal and physical cues. Remember, dominance doesn’t always have to be loud or aggressive; it’s about control and confidence.

• Verbal Dominance: Start with clear, confident communication. Use commands, firm but respectful language, and set expectations for his behavior. Phrases like “You exist to please me” or “Your role is to serve me, including this” will reinforce your authority.
• Physical Dominance: Assert your control with physical gestures, like gently guiding him by the chin or holding his head still, which can be very powerful in establishing your dominance. You can also train him to kneel, use collars or restraints, or instruct him on the proper posture for submission.

2. Introduce the Idea Slowly

Introducing the idea of licking your anus should be done slowly and sensitively. Start by discussing your desires with him, making sure to gauge his openness to the idea. You can use this opportunity to test his level of submission and willingness to explore new things. Remember, communication is key—this is about mutual consent, and it’s important to ensure he’s not feeling pressured.

You could begin by mentioning the act casually, perhaps during a more intimate moment, while subtly testing his reaction. Acknowledge that it’s a vulnerable act for him, and emphasize that it’s something he does to please you. This framing reinforces your control while ensuring his consent.

3. Set Boundaries and Safety Measures

It’s crucial to have open and honest conversations about boundaries and comfort levels. Consent is the foundation of any healthy BDSM dynamic, and respect for those boundaries ensures that both partners are fully enjoying the experience.

• Establish Safe Words: Make sure that both you and your submissive are on the same page when it comes to safe words. These should be established before you begin any play, allowing your submissive to signal if they need a break or if they feel uncomfortable.
• Hygiene: Since the act involves close proximity to the anus, make sure that both of you are comfortable with hygiene. Talk about cleanliness openly, and perhaps suggest that you both shower beforehand, or that your submissive use mouthwash to feel fresh. You can even encourage him to prepare for the act by cleaning your anus himself, which can enhance the submission aspect.

4. Create the Right Environment

Setting the right mood is essential to making this act more comfortable and enjoyable. The environment should feel intimate, private, and sensual.

• Comfortable Positioning: Have your submissive kneel or lie in a position where you’re in control. This might mean having him lie on his back with his legs apart, or you could kneel on a soft surface while he remains kneeling in front of you. The key is that you maintain control, and he is in a submissive posture that facilitates the act.
• Lighting and Sensory Setup: Dim the lights, light some candles, or use a sensual scent that can help both of you relax. This sensory engagement can help ease any tension or nerves and focus his attention on pleasing you.

5. Guide Him Through the Act

When the moment arrives, you can guide your submissive into the act with authority and precision. Your demeanor should be one of calm control, encouraging him while making it clear that this is an act of submission to please you.

• Directing Him: Begin by instructing him clearly. You might say something like, “Kiss my ass, I want to feel your lips on me” or “Lick me now, and don’t stop until I tell you.” Use your body language to guide him, pushing his face into your anus gently but firmly.
• Positive Reinforcement: As he begins to serve you, reward his submission with praise. Let him know that he’s doing well by saying things like “Good boy” or “You’re so obedient.” This creates a positive feedback loop, making him more eager to serve you in the future.

6. Encourage Full Submission

To deepen his submission, encourage him to surrender fully. This may involve asking him to stay in position for a long time, licking in different patterns, or maintaining a specific rhythm. You can further assert your authority by giving him specific commands—such as switching between licking and kissing—or by introducing other acts like spanking or verbal commands.

If he hesitates or expresses any uncertainty, remind him that this is his role to serve you and that pleasing you is the ultimate goal. You might even train him over time to seek out this act, conditioning him to associate your pleasure with his own satisfaction.

7. Aftercare

After any BDSM act, especially one that involves such deep submission, aftercare is essential. Take time to comfort your submissive male, showing appreciation for his willingness to submit. Aftercare can involve gentle touch, kind words, or simply holding him close and offering praise for his dedication.

This also gives you the opportunity to check in emotionally. Be sure to discuss how he felt about the experience, whether there’s anything he would like to explore further, and make sure he feels valued and cared for in the aftermath.

Conclusion

Getting your submissive male to surrender to your authority when it comes to licking your anus is about establishing a balance of power, trust, and pleasure. It’s a deeply intimate act that can deepen your relationship while reinforcing the dynamics of control and submission. By communicating openly, setting clear expectations, and providing a comfortable, safe environment, you’ll be able to guide him through the experience while maintaining your position as the dominant partner. Enjoy the journey of exploring power dynamics and continue building a relationship where trust and respect are at the core of your pleasure.