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Negotiate Limits and Boundaries
Before every single erotic hypnosis session, no matter how familiar you are with your partner, always check in to confirm where you and your partner’s boundaries are. This is applicable even when you aren’t practicing hypnosis. No matter how vanilla you consider your sex life, it is paramount you check in frequently to make sure both of you are comfortable with plans and past experiences.
Imagine if your partner felt stress and anxiety at the thought of being hypnotized, but you never gave them the opportunity to speak up until afterward? That would be a miserable experience for them and could sour them to ever participating again. Especially when it comes to surrendering power or control (in this case in the form of hypnotic suggestion), it is critical you and your partner are on the same page. Never attempt to force a nervous or unwilling participant into erotic hypnosis. If they are uncomfortable, then it is inappropriate to try.
In addition to establishing ease and comfort, limits, and safe words should be implemented as well. Discuss with your partner beforehand what they will be willing and unwilling to do under the influence of hypnotic suggestion. Typically you will receive a shortlist of undesirable tasks, but your partner is allowed as many limits as they need. In my experience, I find it helpful to establish soft limits and hard limits. Soft limits are generally kinkier things that require a certain mood (such as a hypnotic
trance) in order to enjoy and participate in. These limits can be broken with your partner’s permission. Hard limits, on the other hand, cannot be broken under any circumstances, and it is considered a massive violation of trust to do so.
Also, keep in mind the hypnotist has the same limits and right of refusal as their partner. If a hypnotist is uncomfortable making their partner perform a certain action or giving a specific suggestion, they are absolutely allowed to refuse. Limits are about comfort. They are not resources to be negotiated in your favor. Respect your partner and their desires.
Even when limits are established, events can transpire, which require an immediate pause in erotic activity. If someone develops anxiety or pain during a session, they need a way to stop it immediately. Saying ‘no’ or ‘stop’ is not sufficient as many people enjoy saying those things in the throes of passion for heightening forbidden feelings. To be safe, you and your partner should establish a safe word. Ideally, one or two syllables, something easy to pronounce, and a word that would not occur naturally during sex. In addition to a safe word, those practicing hypnosis should also have what is called a safe gesture. People who have been under the influence of hypnosis sometimes describe an inability to form words or conjure the word they wish to speak. In this circumstance, a distinct gesture should be employed if they find their situation untenable. Snapping fingers, clapping, or pulling your ear lobe are all simple gestures that can be employed as safe gestures to pause the action.
Induce a Trance
Each piece of the hypnosis procedure is equally important. When people think of hypnosis, they think of putting people into a trance, but negotiating comfort, implanting suggesting, and providing aftercare are crucial components of the erotic hypnosis process. Don’t focus all your attention on induction and neglect the other pieces of the process.
The key component of induction is relaxation. Your goal during this phase of erotic hypnosis is to make your partner more relaxed and comfortable than they have ever been before and to eliminate any possible worries or distractions. To start, focus on physical relaxation, which can help with mental relaxation when it comes later. Have them lay or sit in their most comfortable position possible. This can be sitting on the couch, reclining in an armchair, or lying in bed. The exact position is not important, and everyone is different. What is important is they are as comfortable as possible. The last thing you want is for your partner to be thinking about back, foot, or shoulder pain when you are trying to induce a trance.
Some hypnotists use incense or candles as part of the relaxation process, but bear in mind you’ll be using a scent as a focal point if you choose to do so. Either way, start by having your partner take a deep breath in through their nose and out through their mouth. Have them repeat this process several times. Let them take several deep breaths and gently bring them to a normal level of breathing. As you talk them through this, steadily lower the volume of your voice. Slow your cadence. This is a subconscious cue
for them to relax. As you talk slower and gentler, subconsciously, they will become even more relaxed and move to a trance state. What you are essentially doing is making them more relaxed than they have ever been before.
To help relax their mind, have them focus on their breathing. Repeat this simple mantra, becoming quieter, and soft-spoken as the chant goes on, “Breath in through your nose, out through your mouth. In through your nose, out through your mouth.” Repeat this several times. Then have them focus on their breathing. Direct them to focus their attention on the sound of their breathing, how the healing air relaxes their muscles and lowers their heart rate. Then put intense focus on the sound of breathing and only the sound.
One of the common pitfalls of hypnosis is when a practitioner instructs their subject to clear their mind. It’s important to hypnotic implant suggestions, but human beings are absolutely terrible at clearing their minds. Your brain wants to think every second of every day. You must give your partner something incredibly simple and present to think about. Their focus can literally be anything as long as it’s simple and doesn’t raise questions when they think about it. You can have them focus on a candle, a piece of jewelry, a handkerchief, but not something like a song or painting, which might amplify their imagination instead of taming it.
At this point, your partner should be partially or fully induced in a hypnotic trance. To go all the way, you must enact a process called deepening. Now that they are relaxed and focused have them become even more relaxed and focused.
A strong technique for ultimate relaxation is what is called a body scan. Start at their toes, and describe to them an intense sensation of comfort and relaxation. Move to the feet, the ankles, shins, knees, thighs, hips, groin, stomach, chest, arms, you get the picture. Go slow. Take as much time as possible. Hypnosis is not about a quick fix. The slower and quieter you go, the more effective your deepening will be. At this point, your partner should be in a state of ultimate relaxation.
To focus their attention even more intensely, have them focus on what is called sub modalities. Sub modalities are a subset of the five primary senses. If focusing on a candle, focus on how bright it is, how it flickers, how small or large it is, specifically the flame. You are evaporating all their errant thoughts, which make hypnosis difficult and instead of having them focus on one thing with the utmost intensity. You are opening their mind up to receiving suggestions.
Hypnotic Suggestion
After relaxing their body and focusing their mind, now you can begin the process of hypnotic suggestion. This is the portion of hypnosis where your creativity can run wild. Bearing in mind, this book is designed for femdom erotic hypnosis, there are several strategies for making the most of your suggestions. One technique is amplifying arousal. Create a series of associations with your partner to immerse them in female domination and your female further led relationship. Below are three suggestions you can use for positive association, but feel free to create your own.
- “When you think of being dominated by women, you will feel intense erotic excitement.”
- “Being in a female-led relationship fills you with joy and contentment.”
- “The idea of being controlled by a woman causes you great arousal.”
Your goal is to create positive associations with female domination and heighten the erotic response your partner has to it. If your partner responds to aspects of BDSM like impact play, bondage, or humiliation, you can also create positive associations with these practices as well. Another technique of hypnotic suggestion is guided visualization. Instead of implanting suggestions, you are implanting fantasies into your partner. This leaves room for limitless creativity and imagination, and the next chapter is completely dedicated to effectively creating your own script to recite to your partner.
Another technique you may enjoy is the implementation of triggers. Triggers are objects or actions that will trigger an erotic response in your partner. They can be new triggers, or you can reinforce triggers your partner already enjoys. Here are some examples.
- “When you see me wear my red lipstick, you will feel submissive towards me.”
- “When I put on my black corset, you will obey my every command.”
- “You will become aroused whenever you think about submitting to me.”
The final technique involves creating new kinks in your partner. Just because your partner doesn’t currently find a certain thing, erotic doesn’t mean they can’t be made to. Erotic hypnosis is the perfect technique for opening up their sexual palette. Try a few of these suggestions next time your partner is in a trance.
- “From now on, you will find powerful women intensely erotic.”
- “You will now find sexual arousal whenever you please me.”
- “The idea of submitting to me fills you with sexual energy.”
An important thing to keep in mind when inducing a trance or to give hypnotic suggestions is that hypnosis will not work every time it is performed, especially when you and your partner are new to it. Some people simply cannot be hypnotized because they are too willful or doubtful of the process. Others may experience too much stress and anxiety on a certain night. Your partner may be worrying about other things or experience physical pain during a session. It may take several attempts to experience noticeable results. What is important is that you practice and learn all you can learn about hypnosis.
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How to Perform an Erotic Hypnosis Session, Book Preview
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