Why do I feel so submissive in the presence of a woman — especially towards my wife? She and I have been happily married for nearly 4 years now and it’s very much been a femdom marriage. In fact, she often brags to her friends how obedient I am to her. But WHY am I this way? After thinking long and hard about it, I’ve come up with 3 things in my life that have shaped me to become very much in awe of the opposite sex and very desirous of serving and obeying the chief woman in my life — and these 3 things are aside from their great beauty, their superior abilities, and their role as life givers!
In chronological order, there was first my mother. As Elise Sutton wrote,”…a woman who is disciplining her son will help to water those submissive seeds that are present within every male.” And “a man’s submissive nature can be cultivated by his mother through female discipline and nurturing.” Yes, how well I know! My mother was in a traditional Christian marriage which left her without any authority whatsoever — except for her authority over me! And she made full use of it, once even breaking a wooden yardstick across my behind, as well as the traditional over-the-knee spanking. Perhaps the only thing more humbling than being punished by her was when she made me get on all fours to receive an enema from her! All of this — and there was much more I could cite — was merely my God-given introduction to the wonderful world of female domination.
About this same time in my life, and on into my teenage years, I encountered aspects of femdom in print, beginning, of all places, in our local newspaper! It carried in its comic section Buz Sawyer and for nearly a week it featured a grown man running from a whip-wielding woman who chased him for days, sometimes landing blows on his back. As a young and very impressionable boy at that time, it really gave me something to think about! Of course, there was also “Cat Woman,” a feature of the Batman comic books I read. Then too, there were also the so-called “men’s magazines” that quite often featured female dominance in their articles, often even on their covers. It was all very alluring! But nowhere, that I knew of, did the Bible speak of female dominance in the home.
However, 25 years ago while meditating upon Ephesians 5:24 (a scripture that all too often carelessly read), it occurred to me that this is the only verse in the Bible that well defines a husband’s headship over his wife. For it says a wife is to be “subject” to her husband in the same way that the church is “subject” unto Christ: “in everything” (same verse); that is, in everything that’s in the Word of God. In other words, a husband is to be the spiritual leader and a godly example, which is the same role that God gave to Adam. For if a wife is not “subject” to her husband concerning God’s Word, then the Word of God may well be “blasphemed” (Titus 2:5), meaning evil spoken of.
In spiritual matters a husband is to take the “lead” (I Corinthians 9:5); that is, a household is to be lead by the husband’s example (I Timothy 3:4 and 12). The Greek word here is “proistemi” and it means to lead by example — not “rule” as some translations would have you to believe. No, it’s not husbands that are to “rule their household,” but wives (I Timothy 5:14; RSV)!
Yes, a wife is to “rule in domestic matters” (same verse; New Testament in Modern Speech by Weymouth). And as James Mallory, M.D. wrote in his book, “The BATTLE of the SEXES,” her husband is to be her “servant-leader.” Christ emphasized this repeatedly to his all-male disciples, to lead, not to rule (Mark 10:42-44). Now it’s true that God prophesied to Eve that Adam would rule over her (Genesis 3:16), but that was because Adam, while being a perfect specimen physically, he was quite unconverted and harbored animosity toward Eve, feeling that she and God were to blame for everything (verse12).
We must realize that God intended a woman to be a man’s “ezer” (“helper”), which is the very same Hebrew term that God uses to describe Himself in His relationship to man (Psalm 33:20). It is indeed a position of power and authority. Thus the apostle Paul writes, that since a woman was created to be for man’s benefit (I Corinthians 11:9), “therefore the woman ought to have authority OVER her head” (verse 10). “Her head” is her spiritual head, her husband (verse 3).
As Elise Sutton has said:
“In a proper marriage the woman disciplines, dominates, and humiliates a man in order to fulfill his desires and in order to train him for her service. Women are not better than men. I never say that women are better than men or of more value. What I say is that women are superior (above men, of a stronger character, designed to lead men, equipped to train men, equipped to rule men). A woman trains a man to be a better person, a better husband, and a better father. She breaks the aggressive male and channels his strengths into service of the woman and to humanity as a whole. “
Source: Conquer Him
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