Laundry (Guest Post by AJ)

Whats going on in his head when he does the laundry for you within an FLR based relationship? Why is doing the laundry so important?

I’m going to try to take a stab at this. His mind is in this incredibly weird and very complex state and he is this wonderful loving man who just happens to be my submissive husband. By analyzing our FLR relationship over the years and through experiencing what makes him tick and not tick, I am going to attempt to answer this question. By asking him directly what he gets out of this, I am attempting to answer this question. I honestly don’t know if he fully knows and understands whats going on in his own head while he is performing the task of doing the laundry. Its more of a question of the current state of his mind and how this activity interacts with that mindset while he is performing it, that is the true answer to this question.

When a woman understands the answer to this simple question she will begin to understand the overall dynamics of the FLR relationship and why, against all traditional logic, it is of a lasting nature and why it benefits both partners immensely. Laundry is just one specific case, but you can substitute ANY activity which he performs for you both of a sexual and non sexual nature. This is just a studied example case to illustrate some FLR/submissive concepts at work in the relationship.

As a traditional woman in a traditional relationship we are looking at his “desire” to do the laundry as the following

1) He’s doing it because he wants something in return, and we have a very good idea of what that is.

2) It wont be a long lasted and repeating activity. Once we satisfy his ulterior motive (some immediate desire for some form of sex) we don’t really expect that he will be doing the laundry again except when he once again needs us to scratch that other itch for him.

3) He is more than likely to do a very half butt job. In the end it’s more time an energy for us in performing rework than what was gained by having him do it for us in the first place. He’s likely to not use the correct wash settings, dry things he shouldn’t be drying, and if we’re lucky enough to have him fold afterwards, it will not be done to our personal standards.

So when we hear him say that he wants to do the laundry for us we are instantly very suspicious and hesitant. What on the surface is being sold to us as a gift, we know that in fact its going to be a burden of sorts for us in the end. And this is how we as traditional women view anything he is trying to sell us with this whole FLR thing. We are used to the traditional vanilla man and not this man with this weird kinky disposition of wanting to be controlled and to be submissive.

We have to understand the mindset of the FLR desiring man to understand his version of this same story and to understand why when he does the laundry this is entirely different situation.

When a submissive man does the laundry in a FLR relationship his desire to do laundry can be described as below.

1) He is doing it because he wants something in return.

2) With an appropriate feedback loop, IT WILL be long lived and repeating in nature.

3) With an appropriate feedback loop, IT WILL be consistently done to our personal satisfaction each and every time with no rework involved.

Lets take these one at a time.

1) He is doing it because he wants something in return….

That still is correct and it still is partially sexual in nature just as before, but there is additionally something else going on at the same time, which is much deeper in his mind and which is occurring at a purely psychological level. The physiological element in his mind completely transforms the nature of his sexual need and satisfaction for doing the exact same job. The sexual aspect of this has now shifted from being his expectation of PIV or a blowjob or “whatever” at some near point in the future to something far more complex. This is the hard part for us to grasp. For a submissive man, who wants to be controlled by his wife or partner, the sex part is actually achieved in doing the laundry for us. That is what he is getting in return! When he is doing the laundry there is a good chance he will be having an erection (if he is not caged) while doing it. When he is doing the laundry he very well may be leaking precum. When he is doing the laundry he is subconsciously thinking what a huge mental and sexual turn on it is for him to being doing this very submissive and “feminine” act for us because he has been instructed and ordered to do so by his dominant partner. When he is folding the clothes and especially when he is folding your panties( or even his panties), he is thinking about all of the other related submissive activities which he is directing your way over the course of the day and week. He is thinking about all of the other dominating and controlling activities you are throwing his way. The laundry just becomes the real time physical representation of all of those thoughts and activities for him.

2) With an appropriate feedback loop, IT WILL be long lived and repeating in nature.

Because he lives to please you and because he identifies your pleasure as directly linked to his own pleasure, he looks forward to doing the laundry for you. He enjoys all of the mental and sexual stimulus the activity is providing him both directly and indirectly. That’s his feedback loop, that’s why he wants to do this activity over and over again.

3) With an appropriate feedback loop, IT WILL be consistently done to our personal satisfaction each and every time with no rework involved.

The answer to this is very similar to the previous answer. In addition to the desire to please, having the further subjugation in his mind that the task needs to be performed very exactly and correctly to our minute specifications, that increases his feeling of being dominated and controlled by you. So it further amps up the arousal and gratification he feels when performing the task.

But why is he so aroused both mentally and sexually when doing the laundry? That is still the lingering question.

Again, a very difficult question to answer with any clarity.

Again my stab at it. By submitting to me fully he is authorizing my dominance over him. By giving me his sexuality and complete control over it by wearing his chastity device and allowing me to decide when, if and how he orgasms, he is submitting to me. By taking a dildo in his butt he is submitting to me. By accepting the discipline and correction I provide to him, he is submitting to me. By sexually servicing me on command and from nightly routine, he is submitting to me. By doing chores, tasks and housework, he is submitting to me. By wearing panties for me he is submitting to me. By massaging my feet, my back, my butt or my whatever he is submitting to me. Be letting me be the final overriding authority in most matters large and small he is submitting to me. The more I dominate him the more he becomes sexually and mentally aroused. The more he becomes sexually and mentally aroused, the more he wants to be dominated. So in many ways this is a closed loop system. I dominate him, he becomes aroused and feels a need for more domination. The more I dominate him the more he does become aroused , it keeps looping over and over. He is just wired in such a way where he craves domination from me and the sexual and mental arousal associated with that domination provides a feeling of euphoria and satisfaction for him.

Why do I want him to do the laundry for me?

Asides from the more obvious answer to the question – so I don’t have to, I have come to realize the importance of the act to our relationship and what it symbolizes. It is part of the feedback loop which is essential to maintaining our FLR relationship. It also signifies my loving acceptance of his slightly different inner workings.

My job in the feedback loop, especially as a loving and caring partner, is to channel this slightly atypical craving of his in a responsible and loving manner which is overall positive to his well being as well as my own. For whatever reason he came to me wired this way. It took many years of marriage to fully manifest itself. Trust and acceptance come with the passage of time and the deepening of affections. I can accept him or turn him away. We’ve been married for over 25 years so I think the answer is that I accept him. He is a wonderful man. He is a wonderful father (grown kids). He is a responsible and strong man in every way. He just has this slightly different wiring of his brain which thrives on submission and domination to and from me. The bottom line when all is said and done, I am providing him with everything which he needs to be physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually happy. By chance and very happy coincidence for myself, what makes him happy also makes me one very happy and content woman. Its much more than getting the laundry done for me. So for us it has become a win win situation.

I am without a doubt and by a huge margin, much happier with this condition in our married life than without it. I wish, I truly wish, that we had discovered this much earlier in our relationship. The power of doing the wash, who would have ever thought it.

-AJ

Laundry (Guest Post by AJ)