My Modest “Darkside” …

MM: I am really just a normal, everyday, “mature” London lady who has been lucky enough to experience a wonderfully exciting lifestyle that I would never have dreamed possible if it hadn’t actually happened and unfolded as it has.

PD: How did you get your start in BDSM?

MM: Over the past forty years, my “personal life” has evolved from a wonderfully happy, but initially monogamous marriage, into an amazing four decades of occasional lovers, experiencing a full swinging and open-marriage lifestyle, and over the past ten years discovering, exploring and enjoying a truly empowering journey into the world of BDSM and developing the fun dominatrix side of my personality.

Through our regular swinging adventures and clubbing experiences, my husband and I were often invited along to parties and events with kink and fetish themes which, despite hubby’s initial reluctance, I found fascinating and most intriguing, so much so that I decided to explore my new interest and attend an introductory presentation to “The World of Female Domination and Mistressing” by the amazingly inspirational and entertaining Madame Caramel.

With my interest now well and truly aroused, I then attended a “Mistressing Workshop” with the equally inspiring Miss Kim Rub.

PD: Were you nervous at all, going in?

MM: Being very “Modest” in nature, I was certainly very nervous and unsure in those initial first steps. But meeting and being motivated by two such legends of the London scene, my nervousness quickly evaporated. With hubby securely collared and leashed, I was soon attending Madame Caramel’s “Club Black Whip” and Miss Kims “Club Rub” and enjoying the experiences of having willing submissives bowing before me.

PD: How long have you been a Pro-Domme and have you seen many changes within that time?

MM: Well … I’m not actually a Pro-Domme. My Mistressing is just a fun hobby which has given me many, many moments of fun, laughter and enjoyment over the past nine years.

PD: When did You first realise that you were a dominant female and when did that knowledge manifest itself

MM: I’ve always had a fascination – particularly with Fetish fashion – for as long as I can remember. But as I mentioned earlier, the progression into the actual Dominatrix side of my personality has just seemed to evolve as each year has gone by.
Certainly the different experiences and opportunities of the “open lifestyle” I share with my husband, has meant that my Mistress Modesty personna has just developed at it’s own pace as I’ve gone along.

PD: Do your slaves come from any particular area of society or is it a cross-section?

MM: Oh definitely a cross-section. I’m continually surprised by the amazing diversity of backgrounds, cultures, careers, personalities and “interests” of my submissives.

PD: What happens in a normal session?

MM: Lol … there is no “normal”. As part of the initial exchange following a session enquiry, I will ask the applicant for a three-point list of their specific kink or desires. But, even with my regular returnees, my sessions always have a life of their own and, as long as it remains fun, I will just go with the flow and allow things to take their own course.

PD: Do you enjoy Dominating male and female subs in the same way? Do you meet couples?

MM: Yes … and yes!!!

PD: What is your favourite fetish?

MM: My favourite fetish is having fun … and just seeing where a session, or submissive, may lead me.

PD: Mistress Modesty, if someone asked you to take them past their limits, would you?

MM: I begin every session with agreeing a “safe word or action” with my submissive. Safety, and each of us having a fun time is paramount to me. If I feel uncomfortable, or unsure, about how a session may be unfolding, then I will stop. Even if the sub in question has not yet asked me to.

PD: How important is after care to you?

MM: After-care is of the utmost importance. I always allow for “wind-down” time at the end of each session, and to discuss the possibility of a future meeting. And I always send a follow-up message or email the next day to check on the subs safe return to their normal life and routine.

PD: Why do you think people are drawn to BDSM?

MM: For all of the innumerable, wonderful, people I have met during my time within the community – whether they be submissives or fellow dommes or doms – I think all would agree that what draws us all to BDSM is the feeling of release and freedom of expression. Just to be whom we completely want to be, even if for just fleeting moments in time away from the norms and restraints of “everyday life”.

PD: Is there anything that you haven’t done within the BDSM world that you wish to?

MM: No, but there are a number of things that do not interest me, and which I cannot be asked to do!

PD: How do you feel about the way that Pro-Dommes and BDSM in general get portrayed in the media?

MM: My feeling is that too many people worry too much about the way things are “portrayed in the media”. My mantra is just to “be whom you want to be” as long as it causes no harm or distress to anyone else.

PD: Do you consider yourself as being a Dominatrix in all aspects of your life or do you separate this from a more “vanilla” life?

MM: My Dominatrix personna gives me the opportunity to have fun and enjoyment for certain moments in time, and to give fun and enjoyment to those who wish me to share those moments with them. By their very nature, those moments in time are meant to be special and cherished for being different from the normal, every day, “vanilla” times we all have to accept and live by.

PD: What do you like to do in your spare time?

MM: Lol … I don’t have any!!!

PD: If you were not doing this, what other career would you like to have?

MM: Oooh … I’d like to be a porn-star. Oh wait … to many people, I already am!

PD: Do you feel a sense of pride about what you do?

MM: Of course! If one doesn’t feel a sense of pride for what one does, then one shouldn’t be doing it!

PD: What is your personal motivation as a dominatrix?

MM: To have fun and enjoyment, and to share that with all whom I feel worthy of receiving it.

PD: Anything else you would like to mention, Mistress Modesty?

MM: For all those whom, through distance or circumstance, are unable to submit in person, I occasionally allow online submission and worship from the “Tasks” page on my website.

PD: Mistress Modesty, thank you so much for your time.