Every so often you’ll see personal ads by men who think that offering to go down on a woman for hours is a selling point. It’s not.

First of all, do you know any women who actually want a guy to give them head for hours at a time? No, you do not. The vast majority of us have shit to do besides lie around while you indulge your obsession with pussy. Guys, it’s not service unless the master wants it. You may be so obsessed with your penis that you would actually want someone to worship it for hours on end, but I have about a thousand other things I could be doing.

Second, not all women can have multiple orgasms. Many of us are done after one orgasm. If it takes you hours to give someone a single orgasm, you are fucking terrible at oral. Imagine if someone told you they were willing to scrub your floor for hours. Wouldn’t the first thing you asked be “Why would it take hours? Are you terrible at cleaning?”

Third, if it seriously takes you hours to give a woman an orgasm, you’re going to bore her to fucking tears. If you actually find someone patient enough to let you give her bad oral for hours, at least offer the poor woman a book or hang a tv from your ceiling or something.

Fourth, we know you’re lying. You do not actually have the stamina to give someone head for hours on end. You might not even have the stamina to get a woman off orally at all. I’ll just quote quirky_amazon here because she’s a) right, and b) hilarious:

Guys have asked about cunnilingus in the Ask a Female a Question group I’m in, and a number of women said the same thing: to get off from oral they need a short but intense, almost machine-like in its consistency, flurry of lip/tongue action. I mean, when you think about it, a lot of women get off using vibrators but you never hear of one getting off by flopping a warm wet washcloth sporadically onto her clit. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Sure, giving head for hours is a hot fantasy. Jerk off to whatever you like, but when you’re writing a personal ad you’ve got to keep fantasy and reality straight. Saying that you enjoy eating pussy and that you’ve gotten compliments on your skills is plausible. Saying that you can go down for hours is not. Assuming that the women reading your ad/profile are too dumb to know the difference is really not a selling point.

And again, because this point really needs to be hammered home, It Is Not Service Unless The Master Wants It. Wanting to go down on someone for hours is about your fetish, not what your partner actually wants. Acting like “wants to give head for hours” is a selling point only tells me that you don’t know or don’t care what women actually want.

Source: Not Just Bitchy