Real-life lifestyle Issues

Here is a comment/question I received from a lifestyle Domme and my answer. Does anyone deal with the issue another way?

Mistress Scarlet,
My sub and I have started reading your guidance manual and I have to say it has dramatically improved our lifestyle. I want to thank you for writing such a wonderfully informative book. We are still in the early stages of our DS relationship even though we are married and have been together for several years, but this book has become our “bible” so-to-speak, for our transition into the lifestyle.

I have a question relating to maintaining the DS lifestyle in special circumstances which I am finding particularly difficult, and I welcome any advice you can offer.

I recently became ill with a stomach virus that lasted for several days and during that time we completely lost the ability to maintain the lifestyle. We have adopted the practice of my declaring vanilla time when necessary (in public or for my satisfaction) but during this time I felt so badly that I just didn’t know how to incorporate my dominance while feeling particularly vulnerable.

What advice can you give to help us maintain during these times or would you recommend the establishment of a “default evocation” of vanilla time?

A default evocation can work where the sub should see the level of illness of the Domme and move into helping vanilla mode. With failure to do so resulting in severe punishment when the Domme is again fit. However that does bring in a grey area and uncertainty/ambiguity which can be very unhelpful. Will a bit of a cold count as being that ill?

In those circumstances, I simply tell bitch-boy that I am ill and it is vanilla time until further notice. Is that helpful?

(Click on the image below for more info on my BDSM manual.)