My control over my husband has become stronger and tighter over the years and it continues to tighten year after year. Each year there is more structure added to our Wife Led Marriage (WLM) either through new rules and requirements or new routines or both. He went from doing a few chores to doing almost all the chores, to being required to have the chores done by a specific time and to specific requirements defined by me. In the early years there were a few fun basic rules for him but now his entire day is shaped by rules and requirements imposed by me. This includes things such as making me coffee and breakfast in the morning, not sitting in ‘my chair’, taking care of all matters with my car (including filling with gas), and how he dresses. Speaking of how he dresses, I’ve added more outfits for him to wear. He has a discipline outfit, punishment outfit, shopping outfit, chore outfit, and footstool outfit. There are days where he may have to change into a few different outfits. Let’s not forget his nakedness. At night he is required to sleep naked and I often have him doing thing for me naked, such as ironing my clothes. 

In some instances existing rules or routines are dropped as new ones are added but typically as a WLM grows, there are more rules added then removed and the wife’s control over the husband becomes tighter. There are many reasons that rules or routines are dropped. It could be because the existing rule is no longer needed. For example, I used to have my husband switch from boy underwear to panties when he came home from work. This helped him transition from his work day, where he is in charge, to his home life where is is subservient to me. However, when I created a new rule that he wear panties 24/7, the transition routine was no longer needed. Sometimes old rules or routines just fade away because they are not of great value or interest to me. One that comes to mind is requiring him to sit to pee. It was fun to put the rule into effect but after a few weeks I just lost interest in it. I was not going to stand over him to make sure he sat every time he went to the bathroom. 

I like to try new things and so there are times where old routines or rules have to stop to make room for the new ones. Early in my WLM, I used spanking as a form of discipline. However, years later I discovered the use of corner time as an effective discipline tool. For awhile I incorporated both but I found that I preferred corner time over spanking and so corner time replaced spanking. From time-to-time I may still spank my husband but it is not part of our regular routine anymore.

Rules and routines have also changed to accommodate our changing lifestyle. Not too long ago our youngest went off to college and so that opened a whole new realm of possibilities for me. Let’s just say Thomas is spending much more time naked or wearing a collar and I am much more demanding of him at home. If I am displeased with him, he gets an immediate response from me, whereas when the kids were home, I’d often wait until we were alone to reprimand him.

Lastly, the maturity of our WLM results in changes in rules or routines. Over the years, as I became more comfortable with controlling him and more confident in my dominance, I began exerting more control and creating a more structured environment for him. A big part of this evolution for me was discovering the benefits to me of tapping into his submissive desires. Once I began to embrace my dominance and experience the benefits from it, I was highly motivated to continue to dominate him.

Likewise, as he matured in his submission and became better at serving me, I was able to expect more and more of him. As noted earlier in this post, we started off with him doing just 1 or 2 chores on top of his normal husband duties. Now he does almost all the chores and so much more. If in the early years, I were to expect him to do everything that he is doing now, he would have been overwhelmed and probably frustrated. Back then he was not mature enough in his submission to take it all on. Like me, over the years he has gone through a significant change in his emotions, personality, and perspective as a result of our WLM journey that has allowed him to serve me in tremendous ways.  

The point to all my rambling about rules and routines is to demonstrate that it is normal and natural for WLMs to constantly change and evolve. Rules do not have to be permanent. Routines can change. In fact, I believe that the healthiest WLMs are the ones that incorporate changes on a regular basis. There is nothing wrong with putting a routine in place for a few weeks and then changing to something different. When adding a new rule, I love to say to Thomas that “it is in effect from now until forever,” but guess what….if I decide I want it to change before forever is up, then I am going to change it. The only permanent rule is that I am in charge and I get to make the rules!

Don’t get me wrong, structure, regular routines and rituals are important to and necessary with submissives. However, growing the structure and adding some change is also important. This keeps the WLM exciting and fun, helps your WLM flourish, and helps you grow closer together as a couple. Men respond well to a combination of routine and variety. Too much routine and they get bored. Too much variety and they lose focus and become unmanageable. You have to find the right balance that works for you and realize that the right balance will likely change over time due to all of the factors mentioned in this post. Discovering that right balance is all part of the wonderful WLM journey. Keep experimenting and have fun with it!

-Mz Kaylee

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