Nowadays, BDSM is often used to describe a broad range of erotic practices that are perceived as beyond ordinary, and even deviant. But if you’ve ever blindfolded your lover, if you’ve ever spanked your partner for naughty behavior, or if you’ve ever teased someone by briefly withholding sexual pleasure, then you’ve taken the baby steps to BDSM.

Contrary to what most people may believe, BDSM is far from being a modern sex fad. BDSM has been practiced for centuries through the acronym was first used between the ’50s and the 60’s.

B stands for Bondage, which refers to the use of restraints to heighten sexual pleasure.

D stands for Discipline, which refers to the use of punishment and rewards to control sexual behavior.

D&S stands for Dominance and Submission, which is commonly perceived as a power play. D&S relationships need not necessarily be physical. There are a lot of Dom-Sub relationships online. Furthermore, Dom-Sub relationships aren’t all that black and white. Couples may choose to switch roles from time to time. Meanwhile, some individuals tend to develop a taste for different character over time.

S&M means Sadism and Masochism, which is usually where some people get their impression of BDSM. But as you are discovering now, there is more to BDSM than just whips and chains. This acronym is that which ties together various sexual activities that may seem to have nothing in common at all. Others use the term BDSM to describe a fetish. Others use it to describe a lifestyle.

BDSM is more than just spanking or playing the role of the sub or the dom. BDSM is a great many things. It’s about taking control. It’s about relinquishing control. It’s about inflicting physical pain to show love and respect. It’s about taking the pain to show love and respect. It’s that human beast of burden pulling a cart. It’s turning your sex partner into a footstool. It’s mild hair pulling. It’s suspending your sexual soulmate from the ceiling. It’s keeping your lover on his/her toes… figuratively and literally. It’s donning costumes and assuming a role. It’s cock worship. It’s forced bedwetting. It’s a kidnapping fantasy. It’s a nipple-pinching, ball-crushing, butt-bruising game. BDSM can be all these things and more. It can never be used to define a single fetish or activity exclusively.

More importantly, BDSM is a consensual act and an agreement made between two responsible individuals who want to bring their sexual experience to new heights. Ultimately, BDSM is a shared adventure where couples become free to explore their innermost fantasies, to discover their boundaries, and to push those boundaries.

BDSM is an exploration of the self. It is an exploration of one’s partner. It is an exploration of one’s willingness to be truthful to oneself and to one’s partner. It is not a dehumanizing act. Instead, it is the most human form of lovemaking there is. Animals may have sex without talking, planning or negotiating but in BDSM sex, boundaries are made clear, setups are
arranged, needs are addressed, and emotions are nurtured.

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The Definition of BDSM