Submissive men crave to be dominated and controlled by a woman. It is not just a want or desire, it is a deep craving. If you are a male submissive you know what I am talking about. For women who are new to Wife Led Marriage, it may not be so easy to comprehend the submissive craving. Have you ever craved something bad?  Perhaps it’s that craving for a coffee or chocolate and sweets. I often get the chocolate craving. Once it’s starts, I can’t stop thinking about it. If there is no chocolate in the house, it is torture. As I do my usual business throughout the day, the craving will stick with me. I may forget about it when I get busy but thoughts of chocolate always come back until I get my hands on some chocolate. Have you ever craved something so much that you find yourself imagining it and tasting it in your mouth? I have! No doubt if I am craving chocolate I will make a trip to the store to get some (or make hubby get it).  And when I finally get it…oohhh….it tastes so good and makes me feel so good…food orgasm!

I’m sure most of you can relate to the experience I described above. That is similar to what submissive men experience with the need to be dominated and controlled and the desire to feel submissive or owned. The challenge with men is that their submissive craving is frequent. Usually with a craving, once you get what you want, the craving dissipates and it may be a long time before that craving comes back. However, the submissive craving does just the opposite. The more submission is experienced, the more he begins to crave it. It can become an addiction. When you add in the constant arousal experienced by men who are denied orgasm over prolonged periods of time, the craving becomes even stronger.

The submissive craving is a constant desire to feel controlled and to be dominated. This includes desires such as being punished, spanked, or reprimanded; being talked to in a authoratative manner; being forced to do tasks, submissive or humiliating things; kneeling before his wife; worshipping his wife’s body, being teased and denied orgasm; and kissing her feet. Early in my WLM I thought that a night of kinky or fantasy fun would satisfy my husbands submissive desires for awhile but I soon learned I was wrong. It would only be a week or two later that he would be wanting more. I’m sure the craving came back sooner for him but he was doing his best not to bother me with it.

For women, understanding this craving can help you motivate your husband and also keep him from getting frustrated or from seeking relief to that craving through pornography and self gratification. Some men have such a deep and constant craving, that it is difficult to quench. I know many of the readers of my posts fit that category and if you are one of these men, my advice to you is that you need to better manage that craving or you will never be happy. I will write more about that in another post.

First, let’s focus on the woman’s role in managing the craving. I want to make it clear that the wife is the one in charge. In a WLM it is not her duty to cater to the husbands kinky desires. Having said that, one must also recognize that indulging in his desires is a sure way to motivate him to serve you. His brain is wired to crave submission and if you ingore that you are only going to create frustration and unhappiness, which is not what you want. On the other hand if you embrace his submission and recognize that you need to stoke that submission regularly to keep him motivated, you will end up with a very loyal and obedient husband.

The most effective thing you can do is create a structured enviroment in you daily life that results in a continuous submissive/dominant dynamic. This is done through creating many rules and expectations that he must follow, having regular rituals and routines, and having regular discipline or feedback sessions. The rules and expecations must be clearly defined with high expectations and consequences for disobedience and unsatisfactory performance.  For example, a rule could be that bathrooms must be cleaned every Saturday. Cleaning includes cleaning toilet, sink, and tub, sweeping/mopping the floor, and wiping down the walls and mirrors. Notice that the expectations are very clear of what needs to be done and a deadline is given. When you have many rules like this, it creates a structured environment that appeals to the submissive mindset.

Rituals and routines have an emotional impact on him, which is a big part of the submissive dynamic. They are also helpful in keeping the WLM on track. It is easy for the wife to get caught up in day-to-day activties and not stoke his submission for days or weeks. Most women do not crave control in the same way a man craves submission and so we can go weeks without formally exerting control and think nothing of it. Men on the other hand, are desperate to feel controlled and desire it every day. A few days without control can make them feel neglected. Rituals an routines help prevent that from happening

I have written about incorporating rules,  rituals and routines into WLM in many of my past posts. I encourage you to read them to learn more. I also use fantasy days, boot camp training, and power trips as fun ways to tap into his submission. Are you intrigued by my descriptions? 😀 I had fun coming up with those. I will write about them and also how men need to manage their cravings in my next few posts.

In the meantime,  guys feel free to share your thoughts on the submissive craving so that the woman readers can get a better understanding of what I am talking about.

-Kaylee

The Submissive Craving