The Submissive Sales Pitch

So you want your wife or girlfriend to dominate you…what do you do next? The questions comes up often on my blog, how do I get my wife or girlfriend to dominate me?

The biggest mistake that most guys make when asking their wife to dominate them is to make it all about themselves. “I want to you to dominate me…..I want you to control my orgasms…..I will do whatever you want.” Guys just assume the wife is going to enjoy dominating them. There are two major problems with this approach: 1) Your wife probably does not know what it means to dominate you, and 2) Most women do not get the same pleasure out of domination that guys get out of being dominated. Therefore there is little motivation for her to want to do it. She may agree to do it initially to appease you or for fun but she will have little reason to make it a regular thing.

If you are serious about wanting to be submissive to your wife or girlfriend then you have to think about how it will benefit her. What is she going to get out of it? Saying “I will do anything for you” is too generic. Think about specific things that she likes or would enjoy. Also what are things she hates to do or things that make her unhappy?

Once you make a list of all the likes and dislikes, put some thought into how you can make her life better by giving her more of the things she likes and removing the things she dislikes. This is going to require sacrifice on your part. You are going to have to work for her and give up some of your time to make her happy. You may need to do things you don’t like, such as committing to cleaning the bathroom. However, in return you are going to get the domination you crave. Do you see how this works? It is a bit of a negotiation. You need to make it worth her while and then develop a sales pitch to get her onboard.

What’s even better is to act on your plan before you give her the sales pitch. It’s like the free trial tactic. How many of us have gotten hooked onto something because of trying the free trial? Hulu is one that got me! My husband used this tactic on me and I guess it worked because here we are 20 years later in a full blown WLM. I love to be pampered and so he started offering to give me foot massages at night and he even offered to bathe me. At the time this was very uncharacteristic of him to suggest these things but I certainly loved it. When he finally approached me about being dominate to him, I was not completely surprised because I knew something was up with the way he had been acting. I liked what he was doing so it made it easy for me to agree to take on the domination, knowing that I could get endless pampering from him.

The second thing my husband did was to provide me with information on how to be dominant. In that first conversation he explained some of it to me and provided me with an article or two to read. A few weeks later he bought me Elise Sutton’s book, ‘Female Domination, An Exploration of the Male Desire for Loving Female Authority.” This information was helpful for me to understand his submissive desires and to learn how to be dominant. My husband did a good job at presenting me with the right amount of information. It’s a little overwhelming and confusing for women to learn about the concept of domination. I do not recommend that you unload all your submissive desires and kinks all at once or that you give her tons of information to read right away. This could intimidate your wife or girlfriend or even turn her off to the idea. Start off with things that you think will resonate with her and over time work your way up to the more kinkier hard core things. Everyone is different so pay attention to her reactions. Certainly if she is excited about the idea, and is having a blast with domination then you can move at a quicker pace.

It’s also ok to admit that it is a little crazy and that you are not sure why you like it but for some reason it excites you. This honesty can put her at ease. When my husband gave me the articles and book he told me some of it was going to sound extreme and that he was not expecting me to do it all. This helped me be open to reading the information. I know now that he would have easily jumped at the chance to do the extreme stuff but he was smart by holding back and taking baby steps with me because I was not ready to dive right into extreme domination.

For many women it takes time and learning to understand the benefits of being dominant and how to be dominant. The submissive husband needs to be supportive, patient, and lovingly persistent with his wife as she learns how to be dominant. This is not always easy to do because of the large gap between what the submissive desires and the wife’s inexperience with being dominant. The submissive has spent most of his life fantasizing about being dominated. He has spun up thousands of scenarios in his mind, which have formulated his ideal way to be dominated. Now, enter his wife who is completely new to domination. She may surprise him and totally blow his mind with a night of exciting domination. If that’s the way it plays out then great- you are heading down right path. However there is a good chance her dominance will not live up to the submissive’s expectations. I would guess the first few sessions would be very exciting for the couple because it is new fun. It is when you get past the initial honeymoon phase that the disappointment sets in. That’s when the submissive can easily fall into the trap of constantly criticizing the wife’s dominance and asking her to do more. This can quickly demotivate her.

Instead of criticizing her or constantly asking her to do more, the submissive should celebrate small achievements in her dominance and encourage her to explore more. For example, if she was strict but not strict enough, sometimes it’s better to say ‘thank you for being strict with me’ rather than saying ‘you should be more strict with me.’ This reassures her that it is ok to be strict and builds her confidence to be more strict in the future. You are celebrating the fact that she took the step to exert control over you. Give her time to build her confidence. If after awhile she does not change, then have the conversation with her about being more strict. The key point here is to create an environment of support and encouragement instead of constant criticism and asking for more.

Hopefully I’ve given you some ideas on how to inspire your wife to try out the WLM approach. What is your sales pitch going to be? For those of you already in a WLM, if you had to start all over again, what would your sales pitch be? Feel free to share so that others can learn or to get feedback on how it sounds.

-Mz Kaylee

The Submissive Sales Pitch