TMI Tuesday is no longer posting new questions. This set of questions is from the archives. If you would like to read the original post, you can view it here. Scroll down to check out the links to original responses in the comments section.
1. From erotica to sex blogs, everyone seems to be having intense orgasms. Do you feel like you are experiencing the same intense orgasmic waves everyone talks about?
Once upon a time, I would have said no to this. In more recent times, I have had some experiences of intense, rolling orgasms. They aren’t an everyday occurrence. But sometimes when the planets align and I am fortunate enough to be in a situation with the right people I can experience a ridiculous amount of pleasure.
2. At the beginning of our sexual lives, we are often let down because it feels like nothing in comparison to what we see in films and magazines. Sexual pleasure is something you learn more about as you get older. How have you learned to cultivate the pleasure that you feel?
The ex-Policeman has helped me to better understand how I have been able to enjoy experiences I am fortunate enough to have experienced. There are three concepts I think are the basis of intense pleasure for me. Firstly, being in the moment. I have my best sex when I can put aside thoughts of what is happening with bystanders or other people in my life and focus on the people in bed with me. Secondly, communicate with your partners. When something is not working or is not comfortable, it is important to speak up and redirect. The pleasure of both parties is enhanced when everyone is comfortable. My third concept is being selective. I listened to a podcast yesterday about ways different female animals select their mates. It is not unusual among many organisms for the female to select her mate based on size, ability to fight, health, collection of shiny things. I won’t go into the evolutionary advantages and boring science stuff, but when thinking about your sexual pleasure, the choice of partner is important.
3. In the last 3 years, has your sexual pleasure:
a. waned
b. stayed the same
c. increased, enhanced, improved
Given my responses to the above questions, I have to say c. Once I thought that a person of my age would be starting a sexual decline. I am glad to report this is not the case.
4. If you are feeling much more sexual pleasure than your lover do you feel the need to make up the deficit or just live in the moment and enjoy what has been given to you?
The swinging lifestyle is very much about swings and roundabouts. It is difficult to ensure that everyone has an equally satisfying experience every single time. So while I am careful to ensure that Mr Jones doesn’t get left out. I am also aware that sometimes I am the centre of attention and that is OK. Mr Jones enjoys watching me enjoy myself so those situations can be a win-win.
5. How important is it to you for you and your lover to have simultaneous orgasms?
It is very nice to have simultaneous orgasms. Mr Jones and I achieve this often, or at least we orgasm within a few seconds of each other. I often feel a connection to my partner and am aroused by their arousal. When a man is holding back his orgasm, I can struggle to orgasm. Similarly, when he does orgasm, I can find myself reaching new levels of pleasure.
Bonus: Do you think that having an orgasm is the same as sexual pleasure? Why or why not?
An orgasm is not the only form of sexual pleasure. For me, and some other women I have spoken with, there are different orgasms. Some more intense, some less so. But orgasm is not the be all and end all. I am not sure about men. Sometimes I feel that they don’t always agree with this idea. I feel like there is a sense of not being finished if they don’t get that climax at the end.
Bonus Bonus: A post coital shot taken from an enjoyable session on a lazy Sunday Morning.
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