I hope many of you heeded the advice in my last post and took time to reflect on your relationship and to plan ways to improve and strengthen it over the next year. In any relationship it is smart to regularly reflect on how things are going and then make adjustments or enhancements to keep the relationship strong and exciting. It is also good practice to do this in all areas of your life. Set goals for yourself and write them down. Did you know that you are more likely to achieve your goals when you write them down? Try Taking that extra step and write them down as vividly as you can. After I write my goals down, I like to review them regularly so I stay focused on achieving them.
It also helps to put a plan in place to achieve your goals. What specifically are you going to do to make it happen? If you are not sure of your plan right away, that is fine. The first step is to write down your goals and get it in your head that you are going to accomplish them. You can focus on the “how” later. You may need to do research, talk to others, or even attend training or workshops to figure out the “how” part.

For 2020, I have written down several goals in the areas of my job as well as my personal life and Wife Led Marriage (WLM). A personal goal for me is to live in the moment. I am always thinking ahead and as a result I often half pay attention to the person talking to me. I need to develop the habit of focusing on the person talking to me and what is happening at the moment. My plan for achieving this goal is to be an active listener, which means paying close attention, asking questions, and reconfirming what I am hearing.

One of my WLM goals is to be more specific with my feedback and direction to my husband so that he can serve me better. When I do weekly discipline sessions I often breeze through the feedback or go easy on Thomas. When Thomas and I reflected back on the times that he became lazy or got himself into trouble, it was usually when we went several weeks in a row with quick or easy discipline sessions. Don’t get me wrong, he needs to do a better job at staying obedient (that is one of his goals) but I also have a responsibility to be firm and honest during the discipline sessions. My plan for achieving this goal is to take time to prepare for the session in advance so that I have clear and direct feedback for him. On a side note, last year one of my goals was to be consistent with having regular discipline sessions. Although I breezed through some of the sessions, there were very few weeks where I did not do a discipline session with Thomas and that was a big success for me. Now that I have gotten a routing down for the sessions, I will focus on making them more effective (e.g. provide specific feedback) in 2020. This is a good example of how I am regularly reassessing my WLM and making adjustments to make it better.

When it comes to your WLM goals and plan, involve your spouse in the discussion. The wife, as the leader, has the final say on what gets written down but the husband should be given the opportunity to share his thoughts and he should have a clear understanding of what the goals and action plan are so that you can both work together to make them happen.

What goals have your set for 2020 and how do you plan to achieve them?

-Mz Kaylee



Your 2020 WLM/FLR